Daimoni L'Iahre: Besttelling Author & Strait Jacket Super Model
My arrival insists that I take my sandals off to ground with the earth. Its energy has never been felt like an electric charge, but I do feel better when walking bare amongst the grass and dirt. It isn’t long before I see my first little lizard. Not sure what kind it is but the reptiles have always been my favorite sight to see here. It’s mid-spring so the flowers are in full sensory pleasing strength. I can smell a mixture of a few different flower types so I get nose to pedal with a few so I can smell each one's specific scent. Holding their blooms as to exchange our energies to and fro.
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Once I feel fulfilled by the flower’s nature, I open my eyes to slowly remove my palm from underneath the bloom and continue my stroll. As I stand erect, I see that the previous blue and white roses have now turned black. I quickly pull my hand back to my body’s side and I step back. There’s nobody else around so I am unable to confirm if what I’m seeing is real. I study this piece of darkness. As I study, what seem to be drips of wetness form at the base of the pedals which then gently glide down the stem. Ever so gently, ever so leisurely.
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One at a time, these beads of liquid cease their gliding to then form baby buds that begin to grow before my eyes. How does something so dark birth something that is supposed to be existentially beautiful? As there is more darkness coming to life, I fear what is really happening and why. However, with this wonderment and the experience of watching nature be born, there is light weaving its way into the fear. As I feel more and more of the light, the flowers begin to glitch with twitches of color like mini lightening which truly makes me think that I’m dreaming or in a some kind of altered state. My light is then eaten once again by the darkness. What is happening to these flowers? What is happening to me? I close my eyes in hopes that I awaken soon. Very soon.
Spirit
Without this spirit that is my own, I would not be connected to nature or life in the manner that I have found myself to be. More specifically, I have found that I am a natural witch. I have known for years that I am being pulled by this energy force as it has drawn me to nature, energy, love, animals, clouds, everything. Witchcraft makes me feel worthy, happy, capable. Being a witch doesn't make me evil. It makes me balanced, intuitive, and at times, powerful.
StarDust
Without stardust I would not be here in this moment as it is my elemental vibration and the creation of my physical body. This is partially where my creativity, wondering, seeing many things in everything was created by, just for me. As energy creates our spirit, the molecules of matter that come together to create physical life that can see, feel, and comprehend, make us who we are. Maybe my dust was a little too dusty when my brain was formed but, that's part of what makes me...me. I'm just a bit more flavorful than others.
Human
Without a physical body, I wouldn't be able to walk amongst the living and garner human experiences. To make decisions, create memories, and live a life different than that of my ancestors. Dżesi endures the trauma, the laughter, and the learning that she collects along her travels. She's my skin. She's my eyes. She's my medium. She's my soul holder. I love her as she protects and cares for me. Unfortunately, she has been silenced for far too long.
Shadow
Without my humans shadow, I wouldn't have a place to grow from as she is the keeper of Dżesi's suffering, confusion, out casting, and rejection. But also her love, happiness, and dreams. She hides her secrets and walks in silence like a stringless puppet. She will always be needed as my passageway between Dżesi and the spiritual dimension. I can choose what I do and don't feel from the memories and experiences that the shadow carries.
Soul Soufflé
Humans are such a mysterious and magickal recipe cooked to a completion by universal elements of badassery. After mixing all required ingredients within a caldron made from earth elements such as clay, diamond dust and the ashes of my enemies, I, Daimoni, was created. I embrace and feed both my light and dark energies. I live within my external canvas, rarely coming out to play. I have Dżesi's personality as we do share energy but then I have additional traits that make me different from her.
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Personality - Personal Reality
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I believe that ones personality is a mixture of soul, experiences and environment which is carried and mixed within every human canvas. I don't wish to bore you by vomiting my Myers-Briggs personality test results to bring you a sense of what you can expect from me day to day on a level of say, friendship. The most important thing to remember if you meet me is that I see you as special and you should not take my affection towards you lightly because if I let you in, that means you have crossed into my trust and vulnerability barrier. And once you accept my invitation to my world, I become tattooed with the assumption that you plan on staying. You cannot hurt me but if you attempt to, you will be removed from my world. How you ask?
Well, that depends on the attempts of your pain induction and their level of viciousness. I can always simply stay silent, excuse you with a generous opening of the door and softly state that your departure is now necessary for your own ability of taking a breath. After you leave the space, I will softly close the door. Now, what I do once that door comes between us and sealing off any visual of each other, you will never know what I'm doing, planning or feeling. Why? Because I have been tortured for many moons, suns, snowfalls and heatwaves by other humans so now my outlook on douche fucks is that they have to learn. If you love me, I will love you. If you attempt to hurt me, I will slice you at the base of the neck and pour your spinal fluid into the sewer in front of my house. The rats have to eat too, right? I can be very conflicted within myself and it comes out as a not-all-there individual presentation. And maybe there's some truth in that presentation.
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I am a highly sensitive empath, but not quite at the heyoka level as I only carry some of their abilities or traits. I have more of a bond with animals than humans which I always wondered why but I simply think this is connected to my witchiness. I, myself, remain innocent minded while protective and loving yet lovingly violent. Same as nature. Being a high level empath makes me a targeted and sought after being by those who are disturbed. I show deep emotion to things that aren't meant to invoke an emotional response. I have an insatiable hunger to heal everyone and all the creatures. Unfortunately, there is also a layer of strong judgement and anger that comes out when I encounter disrespect, unnecessary stupidity, or one causing pain to another. I am at the earth and air cusp of the Taurus and Gemini signs flowing from one to the other throughout every day, every event, every sunrise and sunset. I'm always switching levels of consciousness and realism. This, from what I've heard, makes me highly intelligent but quite dangerous.
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I wonder how serial killers are created. Throughout the beginning years of their lives, they have the knowledge and physical feeling that they are different but don't know how or why to the point of them being scared of themselves. They tell someone they trust so they can help but are then told that their thoughts and expressions are wrong or stupid and they need to be like everyone else. That they're imagining things or making things up for attention. They must stop being them and be like him or her as if it's so easy to be someone you're not and to just stop your thoughts. This being such harsh suppression of their true existence, one day they just explode and everything reminds them of the time when they were shamed and degraded rather than being given someone to talk to about the things going through their mind. Fuck it. So instead of becoming an attorney who sells cars on the side like his ridiculing father, he grows up to be a cocaine farmer and a killer of car salesmen on the side to then sell their internal organs on the dark web. Some would say all these jobs can be demeaning but if you really look at it, all are necessary on one level or another.
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I've never had anyone to talk to either nor have I ever possessed a canvas with the intention of painting who I am which would allow me to bathe in the colors, dimensions and mistakes of said self portrait. I've been too scared. Embarrassed of who I am. Stuffed into a trunk with no knowledge of where the key is. I am dark. I have dark thoughts. Dark desires. And I think this society is truly fucked and it's fucked because of itself. I think my dark is a necessary dark. I don't wish to be a serial killer of innocent beings such as young children, homeless people asking for change even for drugs, or the furry, feathered, and scaly creatures with no voice that simply live their lives as nature intended. No. My killings would have meaning, purpose, a need. Now is my time to light up the darkness and bring color to smooth out it's cutting edges. Mingling within life, death, love and no fucks. I'm looking forward to unlocking treasure chests of my spirit and crashing into the waters of my essence in order to learn how to streamline with wings rather than swim with fins to new discoveries. Who knows. Maybe we can become friends. Let's fuck up some taught reality and create some of our own, shall we?
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Love, Daimoni
